In the swimming hole

In the swimming hole

When I go to swim, I usually try to get there before the crowd gets home from work, and before the skinny tan girls with big boobs get there, which is usually right after the boy stand in the pool and read. I enjoy reading hour. I went a little late today, and discovered another time to avoid: right after the kids get home from school at 3:30. That’s when they show up at the pool, unchaperoned, asking if someone can watch them. Today, I was the only one there, so they asked me, and I said sure. I was just reading and the only thing that I thought they would interrupt was the sun on my back.


It was a girl and a boy. She was about 12; he, 9. She had a kickboard made of softer foam: hard enough to keep its shape, but soft enough that you wouldn’t scream if you dropped it on your foot. She had made up some ridiculus game that really can only be summed up as “I have the board, so I win, and I have the power, and I can hit you if you try to take it from me. You must give me all the attention.” Truly, an attention grabber in the making. Hopefully, she’ll grow out of the potbelly.

The game went on for a while, she’d make up new rules when she was getting splashed too much or felt like taking a break. “If you’re on this step, you can’t get hit or splashed!” He just wanted to play, and kept on splashing her, trying to dunk her, whatever. (TCB does this, too. I just want to be in the pool, swim around, do some headstands or attempt to float on my back, and he invariably splashes me, dunks me [which I especially hate], or knocks me over. I don’t swim very well to begin with and get enough water up my nose on my own, thank you.) I did step in twice: once when their splashing got me, and once when they started to get in the hot tub, which clearly starts that you must be 14 to be in. I just asked if they could read to me what the rules about age said, and they hopped back into the pool.

Finally, she felt she wasn’t getting chased enough and smacked him over the head with the board out of the water, and he hit her back. When she started to cry and ask him how he was going to like getting grounded, and looking at me to do something, I didn’t do anything. Because she deserved it.


  1. Ally Says:
    August 25th, 2005 at 17:36 I’m impressed. I wouldn’t have lasted that long.
  2. George Says:
    August 25th, 2005 at 20:47 SEE!!! That’s how it was when you picked on me. Except you didn’t cry when I hit you. And you always beat the crap out of me. And I cried. And mom laughed. But I’m not upset because now I’m tan with big boobs. That makes me happy.
  3. Naginata Says:
    August 29th, 2005 at 9:39 It’s scenes like this one that make me want to give myself a vasectomy before it’s too late.

    Also, you had me at “skinny tan girls with big boobs”. I really am a simple creature.


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