Turkey turkey

Last night was the Great Turkey Panic 2010.

Near the end of the day, TCB told me that the bringer of Turkey #2 for Practice Thanksgiving was getting sent on an unexpected business trip. Nobody was happy about it, especially him (TB#2), since the smallest large turkey he could find was a 22-lb turkey (in a gluten-free brine/solution, stated on the label, as it happened.)

I decided that, after work, I’d go to the store and find a replacement 22-lb turkey. No big deal. Never been a big deal.

Went to Publix first, since I had to cash a check, and the turkey selection was tiny. And the ingredients: ambiguous.  Turkey broth, extracts of pepper & celery, modified food starch? Pass. Plus, the sizes were all wrong. I called TCB to see if he knew what kind of turkey TB#2 had gotten. TCB didn’t know, said to call TB#2. Then I realized I didn’t have his number.

So, I went off to Kroger. Again, no luck on turkeys. “May contain up to 8% of a solution”? Tell me what’s in the solution besides “turkey broth, modified food starch.” What’s in the turkey broth?! At least one kind admitted to containing dairy.

I headed home, unexpectedly full of panic. Full-on, shaking, crying, all-the-way-across-the-sky panic. Totally not called for. Gah! Turkey Panic! I’ve done 4 of these Practice Thanksgivings before, and 4 real ones, and I don’t think I’ve ever had Turkey Panic before.

When TCB got home, we headed over to Ingles, since we figured that’s where TB#2 had gotten his (and TCB called to confirm.) When we went in, we walked down the baking aisle to get to the meat section, and discovered how many gluten-free mixes and options they have! Holy craps! We may have picked up a couple or three mixes on the way to the turkey.

The turkey options at Ingles were the opposite of the other store’s options: none big enough, but clearly labeled gluten-free. So we got 2 turkeys! A whole one and one breast. That should be enough turkey, certainly. I’m a little worried about oven space, but figure I can either borrow space in a neighbor’s oven or can grill something. Yeah.

Turkey Panic!


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