One of the interesting things about the Dev Psych class I’m taking is figuring out which groups and stages I was in/Lena is in. It’s fun to read about something and then look up to see it in action, or to change my behavior to get a response out of Lena. It’s also validating to read about instincts I had with her have been correct in getting her to where she is now.
Right now, I’m reading about childhood friends and peer groups, and I was very interested to see that there are more than the three I thought there were (popular, not-popular, fringe), described. I have to say, it was a little disturbing to see the feelings I’ve had about my role in life among friends to be perfectly described in the "Neglected Children" peer group: not likely to be nominated as a best friend, but not disliked. And that feels pretty spot-on: not likely to be nominated as awesome or the best friend among peers (most awards and recognitions came from outside nominations), but not disliked. I don’t get recognized at work, but not disliked. Not likely going to get called by my friends to go do X (maybe after asking a few others), but told afterward "ah! I totally forgot about asking you!", so not disliked. Not likely to get remembered by football coaches who are putting together a team introduction (and looking at a roster), but… actually, that one pissed me off more than any of the others, even with their apology.
In general, it’s a pretty disheartening peer group to be in: not overtly liked, but not disliked. Makes it hard to try with friends, you know?