18, already

And still so far to go. I started re-reading the posts I made when Lena was growing, and I was amazed that I had time to write so much! And so many thoughts!

I felt those little flutters very early again this time (13 weeks), confirmed to be something correct via doppler the next day at an appointment.  At 18 weeks this time, I don’t feel anything very definitive as even maybe-kicks. It all feels very still. I can feel a hard bump that changes location, so I know something’s there.  But I’m still a bit disappointed in the lack of even maybe-kicks.

Morning sickness (the sickness part) didn’t last as long, which was weird. It pretty much disappeared (except the tiredness) around week 9. I want to exercise and run now, until I get outside in the heat and I go “lol, no.” I’ve done a few 5ks and 10ks, and I’d like to do another 5k, but the timing is bad because of this move.

House selling/buying is stressful. I have these feelings of nobody wanting the house, even if we listed it for free. And that someone’s going to way lowball the price, and Jeremy will accept anything that comes toward us, but they’re just going to gut or tear down the house and use the tiny house for their gas-powered lawnmower. Or tear it down, too. We’re not listing it for much more than the 8-cat house sold for (which was nearly 800 sq ft smaller), so if it goes for less than that house, I’ll be very disappointed. WABE is running articles on how pretty much all houses are getting into bidding wars because people want to be in good school districts (check), close in (check, we’re itp), and houses are selling super fast (lol.) So I feel like those articles are lies or we have an unsellable house that people like because it’s so conveniently located to everything (like easy interstate access!), but is terrible because it’s close enough to hear that it’s conveniently located near the interstate.

So we won’t get it sold before we need to close on our other house, so we have to get some gap/bridge financing, which is yet another round of paperwork. Hooray. And more banks and credit checking and so many documents, so we can own two houses at the same time.

And all of the uncertainty is definitely fueling even worse dreams of everyone in the family dying on the same day. It’s usually me bleeding to death during an unwarranted c-section to deliver a stillborn baby, and then Jeremy in a car wreck  on the way to get home because someone’s broken into the house and killed whoever was watching Lena and then kidnapped Lena. It’s awesome. Sleeping so well.

Anyway, next on the list: making appointments in the new town before school starts, so that Lena has the immunization paperwork in order. Wheeeeeeee. And making my appointments at one of the two obgyn practices. I’m going to try the one that’s not all older white dudes first.

Week 4

Everything has a smell. Everything.

Also, I have a lot of disbelief that this is actually happening again. Three cheap-o tests (the finest you can buy for cents per test) weren’t convincing enough, so I hunted down the second in the 2-pack of digital tests that I bought to be sure that I was pregnant last time. Turns out, 6+ year old, previously unused, stored in a cool dark place digital tests still work, and also confirmed what the other tests had suggested. As if everything having a smell didn’t tip me off.

So I guess we’re in for this ride again.